Christmas at the temple

I am fortunate enough to have parents that live directly across the road from Preston temple. This Christmas we have decided to spend Christmas with my parents and arrived last night. The journey takes around 5 to 6 hrs depending on whether your husband misses the junction or not :) (love you babe!) As we approach my parents the kids all try to be the first to see Moroni. (Moroni was erected on the top of London temple last week - fun to watch as they used a helicopter). I think back to when I was a child and as we approached London temple we would be looking for the spire. A memory I know my children will cherish when they are older. This morning my children are over at the temple with their Dad doing baptisms for the dead... a wonderful experience for them, their Grandpa works in the temple and will be helping. My parents love the temple and have always set a wonderful example to me - having the temple as an important focus in their life. They now both serve in the temple, my Dad has been assistant recorder for the past few years and sealer... they will probably enjoy a break this year when they are released... well the 4.30am rising a few times a week... some retirement. So this year I have the luxury of going to the temple and enjoying the grounds around the Christmas season... last night after we arrived we all walked over to see the christmas lights and nativity. I watched my children's eyes light up and the reverance they had in the grounds (most of the time). The wonderful spirit that is present there that you don't even have to enter the temple to enjoy. We look forward to our evening session tonight. x

Long time no write!

I was trying to think of all the things I have done since I last wrote an entry.... hmmm!! I have run a half marthon, I have been to Preston temple for a few days and last weekend London, I have watched my husband baptize our little Jared, I have taken a lot of photographs, I have started my 3rd and final year of my degree... written the first 4000 words for my dissertation. I have been to London for 3 days to look at one photo exhibition after another... I had very sore feet and spent a lot of time on the underground and became totally overloaded with images, but loved it. John and I are close to our 6th wedding ann. and have a trip planned in the new year... no kids!! That reminds me, I must call my Mum and ask her to have the kids... oops :)

Our 4 day break

This week John had the option of having 3 days off work, so Monday we decided I would pack up and find a camp site near one of our favourite spots Llyn Brianne Lake. John met us there after we had put up the tent and we spent the next few days hiking, bbqing, playing and chilling. Much fun was had by all :)

Day 1
set up camp

Day 2
visit Llandovery for local icecream and provisions - park
Mum tries to learn how to juggle - hours later still have not cracked.... will get there
Petanque

Day 3
Hike along bird reserve trail. John told the little ones about a giant called Bill who lives up in a cave on the side of a slatey hill we passed and the kids spent the rest of the time screaming his name at the top of their voices (hope there were no bird watchers too near!)
Started a camp football game in the rain - it went on for hours! More and more kids joined in as the afternoon/evening went on - water fight!

Day 4
Pack up and then headed to Llyn Brianne for the day
Beautiful Lake, kids explored we also went to see the dam - always makes me a little nervous
Drive home :)

sweetness follows R.E.M

Piano

Poem by Patrick Phillips

Piano

Touched by your goodness, I am like
that grand piano we found one night on Willoughby
that someone had smashed and somehow
heaved through an open window.

And you might think by this I mean I'm broken
or abandoned, or unloved. Truth is, I don't
know exactly what I am, any more
than the wreckage in the alley knows
it's a piano, filling with trash and yellow leaves.

Maybe I'm all that's left of what I was.
But touching me, I know, you are the good
breeze blowing across its rusted strings.

What would you call that feeling when the wood,
even with its cracked harp, starts to sing?

sweet moments

Today my sweet moments were -

My little girl found my hand and squeezed it as we walked through town

The carpet fitter friend smiled at me when i asked how much - just buy me a mars bar

Seeing John's smile when he drove up from work when he saw me

Listening to my new Cold Play songs on my ipod

A friend popping in to offer me some work - a friend thinking of me

My Cerys running out of school and throwing her arms around my neck

Seeing my sister and remembering how much I love her

peeping in my teenage girls room and just seeing her feet as she is perched on her window sill knowing she is yet again engrossed in another book - off on an adventure in her head

Our little bit of heaven

Today while chatting with my in-laws, my father-in-law shared with me how a friend had announced as he entered church - 'here comes Tony the richest bloke in (his village)', Dad laughed thinking... "what I don't have any money??" Then as he carried on walking into the chapel it hit him - he was the richest man in his village - he had blessings aplenty and he felt very rich.

The talks today in church were on how our hardships can be blessings and Kevin shared this story-

A farmer has a horse escape
His neighbour says - bad luck
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
The horse returns and brings 5 wild mare
neighbour - that's a bit of good luck
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
one of the horses when his son was trying to brake it bolts and the boy badly brakes his leg
neighbour - sorry about your bad luck!
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
the army comes for the farmers son but because he has broken his leg he is spared

the story goes on, but you get the picture.

This story made me mull over the last year full of ups and downs and think about all the bad lucks that have become good lucks and vice versa.

A friend came round to visit with me this week and told me about a program she had watched the night before about an african tribe that worked very hard and as they worked they sang. The man making the documentary noticed they ended their songs with the same three words and asked the translator what the word meant. He was told - Happy - the word meant happy. My friend with a tear in her eye said "we think we have it all here in the west but where is our community spirit and happy, happy, happy".

I thought about this a lot after she had left and thought happy, happy, happy is actually all around us - our little bit of heaven really is where ever we are. Whether we live in Bolton, Liverpool or West Wales our happiness is totally dependent on us. We see film stars and billionaires in the media who seem to have all that life has to offer and they aren't happy, happy, happy. The look flippin sad, sad, sad! So with what god has given me, and he has given me lots and lots.... I have decided to be happy, happy, happy.

coldplay playing at the bbc

Marie Curie

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Fashion student shots

This week I was asked to go into my local college and take photos of fashion student's work. The students had 15 minutes to have their model (one of the other fashion students) show their clothing using lighting and direction for posing etc. Some of the students had a clear idea of what they wanted and really enjoyed the experience and others ...... didn't. Anyway they all walked away with a disc of my images to hopefully use in their final assignment. It was great fun - a bit unnerving using different flashes and studio - but a great learning experience as well.

fare thee well - kate rusby

Front page of www.utata.org!

Sports Day

John winning his Father's race at the kids sports day!




I remember as a child getting butterflies in my tummy before doing the egg and spoon race! Yes I was and still am very competitive. My family (a large family) are all competitive, perhaps because of that struggle for attention (jumping up and down "look at me Mum! look at me Dad!") Or perhaps it is genetic or something. For what ever reason I have always had that tummy knotting feeling before anything competitive and given it my everything. As I have hopefully matured with age and experience (lol...) I have taken on board the fact that although competitive I have not been very good at taking on criticism and being a team player, I think the quote goes “If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive. If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative.” My little 7 yr old boy, Caleb, said to me at sports day before my Mum's race, "Mum it is not about winning, it is about having fun!" Out of the mouth of babes :) Although the butterflies do still come, I do have a lot more fun now in competitive situations, I think being a photographer and having had to submit a lot of work over the last year that has not always been a success, the skin thickens and the confidence grows and you realize that the only one responsible for making life fun is me! It's all about enjoying the competition rather than winning it - although I did win the Mum's race at my kids sports day HA!

Sparkling Organic Ginger

Today I was at college all day. I woke with a painful stomach ache and left for college feeling pretty sorry for myself. Survived the very long day of preparation lectures for my third year. Hot and tired I arrived home to some sparkling organic ginger thoughtfully bought for me by John to help settle my stomach - it worked a treat and so did the reminder of what a great guy I am married to. :)

Try Again - Keane

Poetry by Mary-Sherman Willis Photo by me :)

The Laughter of Women

From over the wall I could hear the laughter of women
in a foreign tongue, in the sun-rinsed air of the city.
They sat (so I thought) perfumed in their hats and their silks,

in chairs on the grass amid flowers glowing and swaying.
One spoke and the others rang like bells, oh so witty,
like bells till the sound filled up the garden and lifted

like bubbles spilling over the bricks that enclosed them,
their happiness holding them, even if just for the moment.
Although I did not understand a word they were saying,

their sound surrounded me, fell on my shoulders and hair,
and burst on my cheeks like kisses, and continued to fall,
holding me there where I stood on the sidewalk listening.

As I could not move, I had to hear them grow silent,
and adjust myself to the clouds and the cooling air.
The mumble of thunder rumbled out of the wall
and the smacking of drops as the rain fell everywhere.

Healthy Competition

Photo courtesy of Hannah Polland




Yesterday we took our teenagers, plus some youth from our stake to a regional youth sports event. The other stakes were Bristol, Cardiff and Cheltenham. I was so proud of our youth, who tirelessly competed and cheered each other on as well as youth from other stakes. Having a healthy relationship with your competitive side is a wonderful thing to see in young people. Seeing them just have fun and genuinely enjoying being part of the whole event was mature and lovely. A great day, very well organized by Aaron Mulligan - hope someone is brave enough to take it on and put it on next year.

John and I also had a chance to participate - which we are paying for now! I took part in the 800m, the 100m and the relay 4x100m. Great fun!

Where I am calling from - by - Raymond Carver

I have read some great books since starting this blog and have not written about them. So I thought I would begin with the book I finished yesterday, Raymond Carver's selection of stories compiled into Where I am calling from. I had never read Carver before and found at times I was reading an autobiography, the writing was so personal. After getting about half way through the book I asked John whether Carver had had alcohol problems and more than one wife, as well as moving around a bit, John responded "yes, how did you know?" I told him it is all in his stories. His stories seem to mostly be about relationship problems, people are always smoking, drinking (there is also some pot in there), but basically about the American guy next door in the 60's. He opens up doorways into private lives and marriages, and I find his relaxed style comfortable and easy to read. I really got a feel of that time period in America through his personal experiences. He passes no judgement on his characters in true Christopher Isherwood style. The last story in the book throws you, because as I have said his other stories are all fictional but personal, whereas the last story is a true account of the death of Chekhov. Although it felt like it was a little out of place with the rest of the American drama stories, finding yourself watching Chekhov die actually makes you feel like going right out and getting another Carver book.... kind of a taste of what else he can write.

wrong turn

Have a go John!

One of the things I greatly admire about my husband John is his have a go attitude. Since I have known him he has had a go successfully at languages, D.I.Y, art, poetry and literature, education, musical instruments, the list is endless. I at first thought he had done all these things before but started to realize that he just didn't fear failure the same way I did and would just "have a go" succeeding and proving to me that actually that is what life is about. Those who dare are at least in the running for success, as those who take a step back have no chance. I see that he has inherited this from the Burtons, his father and brother are very similar and I see in all of them "if they can do it so can I" attitude. I have been very grateful for this example in my life and hope it rubs off on the kids too!! :) In this photo John is having a go for the first time on a bass, his Dad giving him tips and playing along on the guitar. I walked in and started to sing along (I don't have a great voice), but I had a go and was very proud of my self that I managed to keep the tune and enjoyed the moment. Too often in life I think I have walked past an opportunity to just have a go!

Growing up

A year ago Caitlin and Devon would have never jumped into a river just for the fun of it. So what has happened in a year that has brought about this change? Well boys, they notice boys and want them to notice them - that always brings on a little courage that might have been lacking. But also I see them enjoying life more and have a little less fear they had last year. I see them already grasping that if you don't seize that moment and run and jump, you are actually missing out on feeling something you will never feel again - that moment is completely unlivagainable. I love that they have already caught on to this and are enjoying their youth. In these photos we had just been canoing and had escaped with minor wetness... yet they chose to jump in regardless and have some fun. You go girls!!

Summer Job by Richard Hoffman

Summer Job by Richard Hoffman

"The trouble with intellectuals," Manny, my boss,
once told me, "is that they don't know nothing
till they can explain it to themselves. A guy like that,"
he said, "he gets to middle age--and by the way,
he gets there late; he's trying to be a boy until
he's forty, forty-five, and then you give him five
more years until that craziness peters out, and now
he's almost fifty--a guy like that at last explains
to himself that life is made of time, that time
is what it's all about. Aha! he says. And then
he either blows his brains out, gets religion,
or settles down to some major-league depression.
Make yourself useful. Hand me that three-eights
torque wrench--no, you moron, the other one."

These could be the good old days

hmmmmmmm!

You know when something just makes you laugh out loud - even though it is really dumb!! This was one of those times for me.

Photography exhibition

http://www.aberystwythartscentre.co.uk/whatson/exhibitions/info/4977/

Today John and I went to see an exhibition in Aberystwyth at the arts centre. It was a look through some famous photographers eyes at English life in the 70s and 80s. It was titled "no such thing as society" which is a quote from Lady Thatcher. Obviously the title was supposed to be ironic as the images depicted the photographer's definition of our society. Images included from photographers such as - Martin Parr, Gilles Peress, Tony Ray-Jones, Jurgen Schadeberg, Graham Smith. John and I then spent an hour eating our packed lunch discussing the images and how we felt about this statement said so long ago.

Here is an image that was included by Martin Parr

Stone Roses Waterfall

There are few songs from the 80's that have remained with me and this is one of them. I think some songs become timeless to you - not to my kids of course who will think this is ancient and compares with something from the renaissance period :)

My mask project

Over the last couple of weeks I have been photographing people in masks as shown in the one of my friend Hannah I blogged a few days ago. John's Dad found a world war II gas mask. When I decided I wanted to use John as my model and how I wanted to shoot it he said "you want me to do what?" Thankfully he is so supportive of my work that he let me get the shots I wanted. :) Thank you my lovely man. I was trying to think of my next image for the series, as I have to have 6 when John suggested I do some self portraits. AAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Not something I enjoy doing as afterwards I can self hate for weeks. Thought to self 'If I really look like that I should start wearing that paper bag over my head again :)' I decided yes I would have a go and after setting up my equipment and finding my modeling light had blown again - bugger! - I had to decide what to wear. I had borrowed this mask from my friend Naomi and wasn't sure what would go with it - THE ZEBRA BOOTS! I bought these boots a while ago and felt so guilty because we really don't have the money to buy such luxuries as we find it hard keeping up with the amount of cereal our teenagers consume let alone ZEBRA BOOTS! I wanted the image to be vulnerable and not show my face or too much flesh (Bob forgive). So I put the mask on my leg instead and - because the studio was freezing - gave up after about 30 shots. True to form - I liked this one :) The rest - well I'll destroy them so any enemy of the future can't use them for blackmail purposes. So I now have 3 out of the 6.... x

My sculpture emerges

I started this sculpture in September last year. It was part of my elective for my photography degree. Once a week I would go in and work my way through the process of creating a 2 and a half foot sculpture. I have loved doing it and know that at no time in my life would I ever get the opportunity to create something like this. I chose one of my photos as a theme, one of my friends Andy and Hazel I took of them silhouetted in the studio. I then produced a maquette (which is french word for scale or model) of what I wanted to do with clay. I then produced a wooden frame to hold the clay of my final clay scultpture which was then destroyed after I made a mold from it - have I lost you yet? Thought so anyway in the end I have a plaster mold which is much lighter than the clay one. da da!!! It is now at college being assessed - I see this as a one off experience and glad I did it - although it was hard work... much more work than the 20 credits achieved were worth. :)

Just a fab song

Lately David Gray

SAFE

love the song more than the montage. Travis Safe. This song reminds me of my relationship with John and how when you are in a good relationship and have the safety of a haven you can achieve anything you want.

microwaves

My baroque session

6
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Some more images I have from this shoot are here.

Fire starter!!!

This song has real significance to me... When ever I am in an emotional situation and I am desperately trying not to cry I sing this song in my head and it is like giving me a slap in the face :) Helps me keep that british stiff upper lip lol....

Frank

It actually snowed here last night. The kids went right out and scraped up enough snow to create Frank the snowman. I thought it was fab and took a photo.... apparently that is his pet mouse jack in front of him. It has snowed all day but the ground is too wet and it is not sticking so Frank is our only evidence that it actually snowed in Wales this year. :)

Cherry Ghost

flirting with the sun

prevention?

Sleeping on sunlight by Frank Steele

Part of a Legacy

I take pillows outdoors to sun them
as my mother did. "Keeps bedding fresh,"
she said. It was April then, too--
buttercups fluffing their frail sails,
one striped bee humming grudges, a crinkle
of jonquils. Weeds reclaimed bare ground.
All of these leaked somehow
into the pillows, looking odd where they
simmered all day, the size of hams, out of place
on grass. And at night I could feel
some part of my mother still with me
in the warmth of my face as I dreamed
baseball and honeysuckle, sleeping
on sunlight.

Easter Hols.

the slide
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

The kids have had a couple of weeks off school now and we are just getting to the point where some of the kids - I wish all, are starting to sleep in and we are enjoying the pace of holiday time. Then we will have to go back to getting up early and running around like mad people again. My older kids took a picnic to a close by river for a walk today and the younger ones stayed with me playing in the garden with sand and jumping on the trampoline.... love it when we are outside and they are all away from computers, t.v.'s, game consoles. Childhood is so precious I hate it when they spend chunks of it mesmerized by a screen and their brain working on half a cylinder.

eternal love, maintain thy life in me

by Sir Philip Sidney

Leave me, O Love, which reachest but to dust;

And thou, my mind, aspire to higher things;

Grow rich in that which never taketh rust;

Whatever fades but fading pleasure brings.

Draw in thy beams and humble all thy might

To that sweet yoke where lasting freedoms be;

Which breaks the clouds and opens forth the light,

That both doth shine and give us sight to see.

O take fast hold; let that light be thy guide

In this small course which birth draws out to death,

And think how evil becometh him to slide,

Who seeketh heav'n, and comes of heav'nly breath.

Then farewell, world; thy uttermost I see:

Eternal Love, maintain thy life in me.

and from me

thinking of you

lol...

Easter

We spent our Easter attending my niece's wedding and enjoying time with family and friends. I enjoyed catching up on missed lives. We took our children to see The Spiderwick Chronicles and went swimming. And remembered why we don't go swimming as much anymore :) We attended my childhood church for Easter Sunday and I enjoyed the nostalgia chatting to people who had watched me grow. I had mixed feelings or amusement (that no one seems to change much) and love for people who know and accept a different Louise who stands before them.

treasure

treasure
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Clean up your eyes

First half day at school

Imogen went to visit her school for half a day on Thursday. She wanted to dress in her uniform and is lucky to have her cousin and best friend Erin starting at the same time.

Our journey

On our way to my niece's wedding on Saturday, John and I passed the time by giving each other a subject and a word and then instantly coming up with some kind of poem or rhyme. John and I are both out of practice with poem writing so the challenge was fun and we found it quite revealing. I gave John challenges such as subject - fairground and word - burp, and forest with red ball. My favourite one that John did was when I gave him the subject dairy farm and the word was pilchards.

Dairy, it says dairy says Nigel
Though the man who paints the van
Wrote diary, as though Nigel
Was supposed to deliver portions
Of himself, Nigel's Diary delivered
To your door, how he likes Debbie
And the pilchards he ate for lunch
And the secret disclosures of himself
Given out to order
But it is all a mistake
He only delivers milk

John gave me some fun subjects but my favourite was cafe and romance. I don't know if I can remember much, but it went something like this -

Crammed into the Cavern Cafe,
they sipped from kitch crockery and
cooed while curling into their coffee,
lips cradling their cups,
leaning in for kisses
while neighbouring customers
cheer with their eyes or
close themselves with their arms.
Clumsy elbows knocking
shrieking
clapping apologies
brushed off clippings
then criss crossing out into the night
and clutching hands there is an awakening
a nervous glimpse to their audience
and gone

Beginning

pathway 3
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Beginning
by James Wright

The moon drops one or two feathers into the field.
The dark wheat listens.
Be still.
Now.
There they are, the moons young, trying
Their wings.
Between trees, a slender woman lifts up the lovely shadow
Of her face, and now she steps into the air, now she is gone
Wholly, into the air.
I stand alone by an elder tree, I do not dare breathe
Or move.
I listen.
The wheat leans back toward its own darkness,
And I lean toward mine.

Life

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

- Helen Keller

Butter wouldn't melt...

:)
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Today Imogen -

Dressed our dog in a pink tutu
Made a potion in a jar of water - putting her brother's ipod in
tried to re-home our hamster
vacuumed up her brother's Lego
Tried on about 15 different outfits before deciding what to wear (leaving the clothes strewn through the house.)
Decided she wanted to eat the hot chocolate powder straight out of the jar.
The list goes on.....

best friends

sculpture of a Panzer tank made out of balloons, from Hans Hemmert.

Mother's Day

Today I was mindful of Mothers. As it is Mothering Sunday, my children bombarded me with cards, crafts and kisses this morning. I started the day quite low because of a fall out with some family members yesterday and sat in thought wondering the best action to take on my folly. My seven year old son, Caleb, ran in and jumped on my lap and cuddled me. He could tell I was sad and asked me what was wrong. I just said that I had felt sad about something I had said to someone I loved the day before. With a big grin on his face he touched my face and said "say sorry then", and ran off. The simple logic and wisdom of children I sometimes find overwhelming and picked up the phone straight away and said my sorries. I spend my days sometimes in a blur of laundry, meals, running kids around in the car and kissing knees and soothing tender feelings. It's worth every bit of work..... someone once said... would you rather have, a rosebush with few thorns or with the finest roses, toil, sweat and pain are the birthplace of greatness.

Above is a photograph I took of my sister Michelle and my precious niece Jenna today as we went for our Sunday walk by a river. Her devotion, love and hard work that she demonstrates daily for her family is a constant reminder of the wonder of motherhood.